Grandma Betty represents the good'ol American. Hardworking, thrifty, honest, humble, , independent, courageous and confident. Grandma Betty is my friend's grand mother. Having lived in the post great depression times, through the second world war and all the way into the digital age, she's where good Americans values can be found.
When I first met her, it was in 2004 when I used to visit my friend often in the summer. At that time, she remarried just a year ago. I think she was about 72 years old when she remarried... heck, how cool is that?!
She drives a PT Cruiser and gets thumbs up from fellow PT Cruisers on the road (old folks mostly) and makes the best sunny-side up eggs I've ever had. She is particular in everything she does, and everything has to be done right. No sloppiness, no slacking, only hardwork.
Back in 2004 when I visited her, she was living with her then husband ( passed away) Charlie. Like a typical grandma, she has a collection of things, things that may not mean much to us young brats, but things that represent appreciation for the basic values. Craftsmanship, material and reliability. One of the most interesting thing she has is a toaster that was given to her as a gift from her very first husband (my friend's grandpa) back in the 50s. The toaster is made of stainless steel, not plated chrome, with art deco graphic etched onto the metal housing. She has kept it in mint condition despite daily usage like a practical treasure.
The toaster itself is a really amazing show of American values, just like grandma Betty. This is a Sunbeam toaster. There is no switch or lever like a typical toaster, only a small knob at the bottom of the toaster to adjust how long the bread stays in there. To toast the bread, you simply drop the bread into the slots and the bread is lowered into the toaster slowly and smoothly. The heating elements then start to glow. In two minutes (or how ever long you've set it to be), the toasts rises up smoothly and gently by itself and the heating elements turn itself off. Everything is automatic. No Popping like today's toaster. No fancy but useless LCD screens, no cheesy chrome plated finishing.
This is a simple toaster that embodies the American spirit, with grandma Betty embracing it they way things should be.
But grandma Betty also represents another side of the reality.
When I visited grandma Betty back in 2004, she was living with Charlie in a cosy house out in the farms. She had a big lawn with fruit trees and rabbits hopping around. I was listening to Charlie about his stories on sniping racoons that comes out to steal his crops with his little dog chasing the thieves down, and his stories traveling around the world being a Navy Sailor as a young stud.
Last weekend, I visited grandma Betty in a senior apartment complex. As I walked into the main entrance, there was a community mail box on the left with a line of chairs laid out for the old folks to hang out. The hall way is lit dimly with florescent light tubes. The walls are painted cinder blocks, with deep red epoxy flooring. Grandma Betty now lives alone in the small apartment over crowded with stuffs.... well, she likes it cosy, so I can't say it's over crowded.
In the dark living room, she has the TV on the weather channel, which basically played the same weather forecast every 15min. In the small kitchen, she has a tiny free-standing electric burner and a small counter top oven. Of course, there's her toaster, still kicking asses like grandma Betty.
Also on the counter top is something I did not see in 2004. A neatly lined bottles of medications.
As we listen to grandma Betty's life living in the senior home, she mentioned something interesting. She said the management don't allow them to do any maintenance work on their own for good safety reasons, but that includes putting photos on the wall. So her neighbor has a stack of framed photos waiting to be put up on the walls, but remained stacked up on the floor because the maintenance crew are too busy to get to it.
This gives mixed feelings about institutions. On one hand, it is probably harder to manage your own life when you are old and weak. On the other hand, living in a senior home forces you to face the reality that you are old and weak, and made worse by being restricted from doing the things that are considered not fit for the old and weak.
From documentaries on TV, they say certain ancient civilizations will take their old folks and block them in a cave where they will live their last days and die. Some thought this is a cruel practice because it seemed that the old folks are abandoned and left to die trapped. Perhaps to them, this is the dignified way to leave.
May be when I get old, I will run away and hide in the deep mountains so I can die trying to survive.
Happy July 4th, hope the good'ol American spirit lives!
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