Got it!

As of April 16 2013, I am a free man! The cow is no longer a slave!

For as far as I can remember since my teenage years, something has always been on my mind, not in a good way. I have always been bothered by the thought of serving my military service. There had been thoughts of trying to escape it by legal means, but none of which is realistic. For all these years, I worked through college, grad school and propelled myself into the professional field building my career. I was doing well, but no matter where I was and how I was doing, I could never make a long term decision about my lifestyle, my career and pretty much everything to anything. Even making purchases like a TV or bicycle was difficult. It's because I know soon or later, I have to face this issue, the issue of having to drop everything I was doing and serve. I was literally a slave on a chain.

The years were sweet bitter... how so? I had some wonderful years being able to pursue my passion as a designer. I met countless great people and was offered countless great opportunities. Every one of it was hard for me to accept, because I know it was a matter of time when I will have to disappoint them, and I did. Leaving my job, my lifestyle and my pursuit to build my own life was not just tough for me but also for those who needed me to help build theirs. I not only dropped my life, I also dropped their expectation.

And so I was back home on the waiting queue for my turn to shave my head. I guess life is indeed planned. You see, when I was in college, I had the opportunity to volunteer in a after school day care center serving the under privileged. That was when the seed was planted when I begin to develop a passion for sharing with kids. After college, for some reasons I decided to continue with grad school although I had job offers. It was more like a tactic to drag on and delay the time of serving in the military. Then I graduated again and went on with my career, while my country was still waiting for my return.

This was then when I dug deeper into the so-called alternative service where instead of being in the military, I will serve in schools using my skill in English to help in teaching the language in rural schools. It was almost like a heavenly match for me, and made me glad to go for it. Had I decided to come back earlier, I may not have developed as strong of a desire to do this, I may also not have acquired as many techniques and skills through being in the design profession to utilize them on teaching. I may not also have met these awesome international friends who have helped me tremendously in bringing foreign culture to the kids. It was the right timing doing the right thing.

And today was the day I've dreamed about for the last 15 years. I received my certificate of end-of-service and I am now a free man, no longer bound by the law and restricted on the options I can have in my life. It's just me, and who I want to be.

And strangely, it's just another normal day for me. Not much emotion. No hyper anticipation, no sadness from having to leave the kids. Yes I was somewhat attached to these wonderful kids and would love to give them more, not it was sad for me to end this. Just like previous occasions when I was in the process of transiting from stage of life to another, I was not thinking of what I am about to lose, but what I really want to gain because of this departure. I was calm, not getting gittery over what's coming next. This is probably because I already have plans in my mind on how I am going to take my next steps. I knew what I am going to do and it feels great. For the first time, I can think in long term goals. For the first time I can fully utilize my capabilities and dedication on something I really want to. The kids asked me if I will be back. Yes of course I will be back. It may not be in the form of a teacher, but these kids are a part of my goal.

Well, no more silly kid quotes. That I will definitely miss.